Chemistry Stockroom
You may or may not remember that one person in high school who was so involved with a single topic that any social interaction was painfully difficult. So it is with one person I know, who is in fact not in high school, but is St. Thomas’ chemistry stockroom manager. Problem is, she is not just antisocial, but extraordinarily passive aggressive. Her ability to wilt a freshman chemistry student after they request a reflux condenser without knowing the joint size is only rivalled by her ability to aggravate someone who knows what they want but is cut off by her ridiculous superiority complex.
Research, Day 2:
I walk up to the stockroom counter and ask, “Can I have one of those metal stirring rods?” I’m met with the immediate retort, “They’re called magnetic stir bars and you have to check them out.”
Research, Day 8:
I’m second in line and watch as a senior tries to obtain some water hoses.
Senior: “Can I get some water hoses?”
Melva Cain: “There is no such thing as a water hose.”
S: “Ok, the yellow rubber hoses?”
MC: “You mean the nitrile hose?”
S: “Yes, that.”
MC: “Oh, well someone waltzed out of here with those boxes earlier, didn’t you look for them?”
S: “I thought they returned them …”
MC: “…”
S: “So, I mean, all I have to do is hook up some hose to run water through.”
MC: (Gets a box on the floor) “So this will work?”
S: “Yeah … thanks.”
Me: ?!
Research, Day 12:
Me: “Can I have a magnetic stir bar about so long?”
MC: “You mean the one inch stir bar, that’s what you mean, right?”
Research, Day 14:
Me: “Can I get an eighth inch magnetic stir bar?”
MC: “Those don’t exist, here’s a one quarter inch one.”
Somewhere between those dates, our lab manager (not to be confused with Melva, who is the stockroom manager) came to talk to the professor who is leading the research,
Nate: “Uh, Melva says she won’t buy any more ethanol.”
Doc: “What?”
N: “Yeah, she says we’re using too much and we can’t afford it, which is completely untrue.”
D: sigh
So continues the saga with Citizen Cain, stockroom manager sitting atop some well organized yet impossible to gain access to heap of chemicals and equipment.
Comments
Mykala
I don’t know why, but this post made me laugh exceptionally hard. Oh, the joys of working at St. Thomas…
Jordan
this post also made me laugh extremely (and probably inappropriately) hard. could it be that i, too, was once left emptied-handed after leaving the stockroom with only the memory of a time when she once accosted me about my lack to completely dry the test tube before returning it, or the occurence where the pencil i used to check out the materials left the counter with me…oh, yea-that happened five seconds ago… it never really ended with her.
i just ran out of time to deal with that nonsense…*wink
Alexander Micek
Lol! Well, it’s true: it’s funnier the further away you get from it. When you are standing there, unable to get what you want, it’s not quite as funny, haha.
I hope that anyone that encounters her survives their encounter. I think, though, I should remove her last name lest a google search brings her here and bad things rain down on my head. Because, right now, a google search for her name appears right below her employee entry at St. Thomas. Uh oh!